Property of the Half Blood Prince

[Severus Snape]

It has been a while since I have revisited this old leather book...but Albus thinks that it will help me organize my thoughts better. I'm not shy to writing in a journal, however I will admit that I probably will not do it often. Life has gotten far more complicated, so complicated that it is to the point that I am afraid if I even breathe easy once my entire world will crash around me. Aurora is pregnant, again...yes...again. And she has been for several months now. The child's gender has been identified and apparently we are to expect a little girl. Albus thinks that it would be wise for me to have custody of her...I think that it would be best for her to know as little of me as she can.

Fatherhood is something I was not blessed with, just as my father had not been blessed with it. I don't want to ruin this child, just as I don't want to ruin Aurora's other child Miles. He is such a wonderful little treasure...I cannot afford to become attached to him, however hard that may be at the moment. I feel this connection with him though, something bringing our hearts together...something that we cannot help. However, mostly I cannot help...the little tyke is only three...his heart is open to all those that are willing to be sweet and loving towards him. Childhood is the ideal image of innocence and tenderness.

However he also has a tendency to be a little pill. This past weekend for example he was the crankiest child in the world. Pouting about everything, whining about anything, and driving me to the point that I was literally about to throttle him. Thank Merlin Albus had been there with me...he's the only person in this world that keeps me sane. The little boy ran circles around me, and then proceeded to do the same to Albus. I will forever thank God for naps...granted, it was I that took the nap and Albus that watched Miles.

[Severus Snape]

Miles had the flu today, and it was one of the worst experiences I have ever had. Caring for the ill was something I have not grown accustomed to. Seeing as I rarely get sick myself, I was completely unprepared with the necessary potions needed and had to bring Miles downstairs to my potions lab with me while I brewed. I had to wrap him up in four blankets to keep him from freezing his little bottom off, and even then he complained about how cold he was. I knew better though, he had chills from the fever.

It wasn't all bad though, eventually I got him to settle in for a nap or two. Merlin be praised that he wasn't one of those children that wanted to keep going when they were ill. He wouldn't know what he would do if Miles kept working his body back into illness. No, scamp was content with sitting in the living room and watching the telly. He missed Aurora though, but I knew that to be natural. Miles was a mumma's boy, and it was the most precious thing in the world. Still it made me yearn for my daughter to be born, that way there would be a daddy's girl in the family as well.

[Severus Snape]

I turned Albus's robes bright pink today. He had taken me away from my potions today so that I could eat lunch, and because of this the potion over brewed and is completely useless. I'm not sure what else I plan on doing to him today, but I am certain the man will have a purple beard before he leaves his office today.

[Severus Snape]

Today was a very hard and frustrating day, so frustrating that I decided to have a drink for the first time in months. I try not to drink when the children are home, but with them staying at Aurora's for the evening I could not resist indulging in an old, aged, bottle of scotch that I kept hidden for special occasions.

Why was this a good day to take up drinking? Well...today was Serenity's FIRST tantrum...yes, her first tantrum ever. And my little angel had chosen the most ideal spot to have it. A teachers conference, with not only the teaching staff of Hogwarts but a couple Ministry members as well. Why had I let Albus convince me to bring her to the meeting...a three year old at a staff meeting with nothing to entertain her young mind? I must have gone mad for a moment for even considering it.

Regardless of the state of my sanity, it did not make the situation any easier. Never, had I ever, raised a hand to my beautiful child before...and now I just feel that our bond has been tainted. I know that if I were to confide this in Aurora or Albus I would sound a fool, but with a father like mine...is it really such an outlandish notion? Merlin, I hoped I didn't hurt her beyond recognition. After I swatted her, she would not speak to me or acknowledge me at all...she just sat on Albus's lap, sniffling softly, and giving me the most pitiful look in the world.

I had tried holding her again, and she just slid from my lap and raced back to Albus. Merlin, my baby hates me...what am I to do? I'm sure that by tomorrow she will forget all about this incident, but I am so scared that a little part of her will hate me forever for punishing her.

Well...I suppose in less then an hour I will have my answer.

[Severus Snape]

I lost my temper with Albus this morning...it was not my proudest moment...and the look the Headmaster gave me was heartbreaking. That man was and still is far to forgiving for his own damn good. I shouldn't have yelled at him for what happened, really it hadn't been his fault...but I suppose lack of sleep had been the reason for my temper tantrum.

I keep telling myself that I am going to make it up to him, but I have yet to do so. Perhaps a trip into Hogsmead would be beneficial...I will by him a bag of lemon drops and this whole mess will disappear... unless he decides to ignore me...then I think I will have to work a bit harder to get into the Headmaster's good graces.

[Severus Snape]

Mile and I have been planning a trip for the past month and a half and I have been saving up all of my teaching salaries to do the one thing he wanted for his birthday. I have agreed to take him to see the Quidditch World Cup and have even gotten us seats that would rival the Minster for Magic.

I hope Miles likes his present, Aurora had been a bit apprehensive about us going. It will only be myself and Miles for the entire weekend, but in turn that means Aurora will get a whole weekend with Serenity. Our little one seems to be going through her terrible fours right now though, and I can tell that Aurora is less than happy about having to deal with a stubborn, Snapey, toddler.

Oh well...a promise is a promise...and when I make a promise to my son I always try my hardest to keep it.

[Severus Snape]

Serenity found this in an old box the other day. I cannot believe how old and yellow the pages have become as well as how many entries I have in it. There are so many memories attached to this book...one of them being that Albus had still been alive when I started writing in it. I cannot deny the amount of pain that comes with going without him for so long. I know Serenity and Miles feel the same, he was their grandfather by all intents and purposes. It's been so long since we took the time to visit his grave and pay our respects.

So much has happened since I have put this book away. The world has survived two wizarding wars between purebloods and halfbloods. This seems to be a regular occurrence every ten years. I can only hope that I won't be around for the next one.

Aurora and I are finally married but along with that marriage Miles and Evelyn Marks have tied the knot...and to no one's surprise so has Serenity and Harry Potter. What is the world coming to? They are all happily married with children of their own...how old does that make me? I'm not going to write it down, when my daughter reads this after I pass I don't need her having the satisfaction of knowing.